|
| |
A couch potato's guide
We've got all the questions, and some of the answers, to help you get from here to the Humanitarian Bowl
Posted: Wednesday August 11, 1999 11:46 AM
By John Walters, Sports
Illustrated
If there's one piece of advice that we can share with you about how to
watch the 1999 college football season, one dollop of wisdom not already scooped
to you by that dude from the "Sunscreen" song, it's this: Never miss
an intersectional matchup between Top 20 teams. Many schools (that's you,
Alabama, Auburn and Florida) eschew scheduling non-conference heavies, which is
a shame. These games are the Friends - Frasier-ER of any Must
See college schedule.
What are the hottest intersectional matchups? Glad you
asked.
August 28, Arizona at Penn State: Is this the year of the Cats? The
Wildcats and Nittany Lions are both ranked in SI's preseason Top 5. Arizona
running back Trung Canidate is a longshot Heisman candidate while Penn
State's linebacking crew, led by LaVar Arrington and Brandon
Short, is the nation's
best.
August 29, Miami at Ohio State: The Hurricanes are everyone's
favorite up-and-comer (you heard right) while Buckeyes are loaded as usual. The
'Canes, by the way, also play Penn State (September 18) and Florida State
(October 9) before
midseason.
September 4, Marshall at Clemson: The Thundering Herd have won more
games in the '90s (101) than any other school, albeit most of them in Division
I-AA. Tommy Bowden, who coached Tulane to an undefeated season a year
ago, debuts in Death
Valley.
September 11, UCLA at Ohio State: Last Halloween more than a few of
us thought that these two, both undefeated, would meet in Tempe for the national
championship. Both
stumbled.
September 25, Colorado at Washington: New Huskies coach Rick
Neuheisel hosts his most recent employer. It was not an amicable
breakup.
November 6, Notre Dame at Tennessee: For what it's worth, the Irish
are the only team to beat the Vols in Knoxville in November this decade, and
that was back in
1990.
November 20, Florida State at Florida: Intersectional (ACC vs. SEC),
yes, but a backyard Sunshine State squabble. The home team has a history this
decade of derailing the visitors' national title
hopes.
What else can we look
for?
Lou Holtz in a South Carolina cap. The erstwhile Notre Dame coach,
most recently seen conforming to network standards as a CBS in-studio
commentator, is back where he belongs: on the sidelines. As coach at South
Carolina, a school that has never won a bowl game, Holtz will not have to delve
into hyperbole to perform his notorious poor-mouthing act. By now it is a
well-known tale that Holtz once scrawled a list of "107 Things to Do Before
I Die," most of which he has completed. Was "coach the
Gamecocks" on the
list?
Ricky Williams. Not the running back from Texas, the one from Texas
Tech. He's only a junior and he's racking up yardage at a similar pace to his
record-setting
namesake.
Penn State to lead the nation in
defense.
Florida State to lead the nation in scoring offense.
Rubber-armed quarterbacks such as Purdue's Drew Brees,
Louisville's Chris Redman and Louisiana Tech's Tim
Rattay.
Multi-threat QBs such as Georgia Tech's Joe Hamilton,
Tennessee's Tee Martin and Georgia's Quincy Carter.
Does September
matter?
Only if you are a singer or songwriter. September is a melodic month.
Consider the hits: "September Morn," by Neil Diamond or
better yet, Earth, Wind & Fire 's "September." Even
Rod Stewart awoke from summer bliss to rasp, "It's late September and
I really should be back in
school."
| | | Top intersectional
matchups from the past 11 seasons
|
|
Miami at Notre Dame, 1988 : Dubbed "Convicts vs. Catholics,"
the Irish win 31-30 en route to national championship. (These two schools are
the James Caan and Joe Pesci of intersectional schedulers -- they'll fight
anyone. However, since the Fighting Irish always play
"out-of-conference," we give the nod to the Hurricanes as the most
intrepid schedulers of the modern era, as you'll see. Earlier that same year
Miami pulled out a miraculous fourth-quarter 31-30 comeback win at
Michigan.)
|
|
Miami at Brigham Young, 1990 :Ty Detmer kickstarts his Heisman
campaign in a 28-21 win in Provo. It was the Canes' first loss to a team not in
the Top 10 in five
seasons.
|
|
Florida State at Michigan, 1991: The most sublime first half of
football played this decade -- a seesaw battle starring Terrell Buckley, Desmond
Howard and Amp Lee, on a sublime September afternoon. The weather was crisp, the
beer was cold and the wieners were hot. Just a great
day.
|
| Tennessee at Notre Dame, 1991: Down 31-7 on a frigid South Bend
November day, the Volunteers rally for a 33-31
victory.
|
| Miami at Penn State, 1992: TheHurricanes turn State College into
Unhappy Valley with their second win against a Top 10 team in two
weeks.
|
| Florida State at Notre Dame, 1993: No. 1 vs. No. 2 -- the Irish
prevail by a score of 31-24, but the Seminoles will still go on to win the
national title and their QB, Charlie Ward , grabsthe
Heisman.
|
| Colorado at Michigan, 1994: The '90's answer to Flutie
-to- Phalen was the Buffs' Kordell Stewart to Michael
Westbrook.
|
|
Washington at Miami, 1994: The ultimate intersectional battle, in terms
of geography, the Huskies end Miami's record 58-game home win streak at the
Orange
Bowl.G
|
| Nebraska at Arizona State, 1996: Few people stayed up, or had TV
access, to watch the Sun Devils' shocking 19-0 win over the top-ranked two-time
defending national champs in
Tempe.
|
| UCLA at Miami, 1998: After absorbing a 66-13 loss a week earlier at
Syracuse, the Hurricanes mount more comebacks than Cher in a rousing 49-45
defeat of undefeated UCLA in the season's final week. The game, originally
scheduled for two months earlier, had been postponed due to hurricane warnings
at a time in the season when the Canes seemed to pose no threat to the Bruins.
Unfortunately for UCLA, the storm never hit. The Bruins, who could have balked
at the makeup game, visited in December and squandered their national title
hopes. Talk about a tropical
depression. |
|
|
But in terms of the national title? Nah. Florida State lost last September 12
and the Seminoles spent New Year's at the Fiesta Bowl. Tennessee almost lost a
week earlier at Syracuse. Even if they had, the Vols probably would have arrived
in Tempe to face FSU. Enjoy the games, but if you have a chance at one last
beach day, go. It's a long
winter.
Why do people watch games on TV en
masse?
Your alma mater is on the tube so you all meet at a bar or in someone's den
(the best place to watch televised games is in the basement, everyone knows
that) to be convivial. But the actual viewing of the game suffers. Potential
problems at the
tavern:
They put another game on the big
screen.
The bartender is a baseball fan (a quandary until
mid-October).
You can't hear the commentators. Admittedly, sometimes this is a
blessing.
By the fourth quarter the men's room is its own red zone, if you know
what I
mean.
My advice. If you want to watch the game with friends, which is cool, find a
cozy establishment. Me and two fellow SI staffers are regulars at the Trinity
Pub on Manhattan's Upper East Side on fall Saturdays. Until 3 p.m. we're the
only people in the place except for whatever lassie import from Ireland is
tending the bar.
If you are going to make it a social occasion at someone's house with members of
both sexes, make sure everyone understands the
rules:
Talking about anything besides the game is permitted only during
commercials.
Crudites are nice, but pizza and/or pretzels are required.
Halftime is for an impromptu game on the lawn or in the living
room.
Who are the best
commentators?
Keith Jackson still reigns, but now only in the Pac-10. Bob
Griese is his perfect foil in the booth. Underrated but always on target is
ESPN's Ron Franklin, who usually handles SEC matchups.
Is ESPN Gameday analyst Kirk Herbstreit related to Herbie the
Dentist?
We believe that the former Ohio State quarterback and Rudolph the
Red-Nosed Reindeer 's pal are long-lost twins. That said, Herbstreit is that
rare young TV guy whose primary concern is to inform the viewer. He leaves the
shtick to Lee Corso and sticks to his strengths: knowledge of the game,
which you'd expect from a coach's son, and a sincere love of it as
well.
Does college football have more bowls than Pottery
Barn?
It's beyond nauseating. The Humanitarian Bowl is inhumane. The Music City
Bowl strikes a sour note. The Aloha Bowl should say goodbye. The Outback Bowl
belongs there. The Holiday Bowl should take one. And who does remember
the Alamo Bowl? Not me.
I sound like a grouch. I don't care. The bowl season, like the Oscars, meanders
for so long that by the time they get to the important stuff, we've lost
interest. There's no antidote -- I don't think a playoff will solve the problem.
My advice: Enjoy the games in September, October and November. The ones that
take place on the campuses. The ones that do not (yet) have brand-name
sponsorship. Those are the games that you will remember. When bowl season
arrives, resolve to watch no more than
three:
The one that features your favorite
school,
The one that will decide the national championship,
and
The Rose Bowl. It's usually the best one,
anyway.
Sports Illustrated staff writer John Walters covers the broadcast beat for
the magazine. Check out his weekly SI View for more picks and
pans.
|
