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Continuing the struggle within
Posted: Tuesday May 09, 2000 01:33 PM
Bob Heintz, a 1992 Yale graduate, won the Nike Tour Championship last fall to finish sixth on the money list and earn his PGA Tour card for 2000. Each Tuesday during the season, Heintz -- who is traveling with his wife, Nancy; his two children, Eryn and PJ; and his caddie, Andy Goodwin -- will give us a glimpse inside the life of a rookie PGA Tour professional. Last week at the Compaq Classic Heintz shot 71-74 to miss the cut by two strokes. Monday, May 8 IRVING, Texas -- I feel like a broken record sometimes, as I recount the last couple of weeks and my near-misses in making cuts. I was ready to play ... blah, blah, blah ... got off to a decent start ... blah, blah, blah ... made a big number on Friday and missed the cut ... blah, blah, blah. I feel so close to breaking free of what holds me back, which is mainly myself. My swing felt good last week yet I still made some untimely mistakes. It felt great today in my pro-am at Cottonwood Valley, the secondary course for this week's Byron Nelson event. I hit a bunch of fairways, a bunch of greens, made some putts. Positive momentum seems to be present, and yet I have still played mediocre golf the last two weeks. Is there a magic ingredient that I'm lacking? Do I just have to wait my turn? Am I working hard enough? I can sense Andy's frustration as well, which means we both need the time off after this week in Dallas. He is searching for what is "different" from last year, when I played so well for so long. The differences are so slight that I don't think we can perceive them on a day-to-day basis. Perhaps it is a bit of luck, or a not-so-hot putter, or just bad timing for my missed shots. Or perhaps it all boils down to the same brain that conjures up these words. This brain that works in overdrive, firing on all pistons to think everything through.
I like to say that there is no defense in golf. There is no Ken Griffey Jr. in the fairway knocking my drives into the rough. Nobody nicknamed "the Dominator" makes stick saves to keep my ball out of the hole. Nobody stopped me from shooting 14 under par in New Orleans last week. If I do my job as well as I know I can, no one can physically stop me from finishing well or winning. Is that not the epitome of an internal struggle? To want something so badly and to fight so hard to get it makes it that much harder to let go of the reins as you continue to pursue it. I want to succeed at this level very badly, and yet I know in order to perform my best I will have to act as though I haven't a care in the world each time I strike my golf ball. To try while not trying ... how very Zen of me! Maybe I have found the key for this week! It's funny that my thoughts have brought me to mention Zen. In fact, just last week I finished reading a book called Beyond the Fairway: Zen Lessons, Insights, and Inner Attitudes of Golf, by Jeff Wallach. An intriguing read, and apparently I got something out of it. I had an interesting rules situation this week in New Orleans. The 2nd and 7th holes at English Turn run alongside each other, No. 7 being a dog-leg par-4 that wraps around No. 2. In years past, I'm told, some players would deliberately play tee shots from the 7th hole down the 2nd fairway, cutting some of the distance off the hole. In response to that, Tour rules officials created a line which represents "interior out of bounds" to deter players from taking the shorter route. On Friday, I came to the 7th knowing I was near the cut line, with three holes left to play. I blocked my drive pretty badly, and as I watched it sail to the right it occurred to me that it might go out of bounds! I hadn't tried to cut off any dog leg, and my ball was still very much on the golf course in the rough and trees between the two holes, but I was still out of bounds. I hadn't given that arbitrary line on the ground much thought until my ball crossed it! I waited for a rules official, Mickey Bradley, to tell me that I must take a penalty, and then I asked him to explain why the hazard had been created. He did so very patiently, I took my two-shot penalty, finished the hole with a double bogey, and missed the cut by two shots. This situation is the first time all year that I have disagreed with the PGA Tour rules staff, a crew of guys who are the best at what they do. I'm not mad at them, 'cause they sure didn't hit my ball way over to the right. I'm just not a big fan of "interior out of bounds" in general. If I can find it, and it's not in someone's swimming pool, I ought to be able to hack at it. Maybe I could have appealed the ruling, saying I shouldn't be penalized because I wasn't trying to take a shortcut. I just happened to have hit a crappy drive. I don't think that would have flown, but they might have gotten a laugh out of it. By the way, Fred Couples also hit a ball OB there, leading to a big number which helped him miss the cut. Small consolation.
If you have any questions, comments or suggestions for topics you'd like to see discussed in future diaries, click here.
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