At the bottom of the pool
The don'ts and don'ts of an NCAA Tournament month
Posted: Wednesday March 31, 1999 01:33 PM
There it is, just sitting there, mocking me. The final, lasting indignity in a month's worth of humiliation.
It perches right above the line that says "National Champion," on my office pool sheet. Mine and a few million others.
"Duke," it says, in confident, bold letters. In pen, even.
"Duke."
That's five hard-earned bucks down the drain. Might as well have crumpled up that $5 and thrown it into the street.
| From the e-mailbag |
Some comments on A league of their own, March 25, 1999.
I also watched both Monday night games and was thoroughly impressed with the "quality" of the game. For that moment, those games were as good as any of the men's games I have seen. Thanks for bringing it to everyone else's attention.
-- Kelly O'Connor
I have been following women's basketball the past six years or so. The men may be more athletic, but let's face it, don't you get tired of the dunk and hanging on the rim? The women have to run plays and be able to shoot. The men -- well, if they're not inside the paint the chances of putting a ball through the hoop diminish rapidly. I suppose I'm glad old ideas die hard -- you can still get good tickets to women's games.
-- Allan Downen
I am an Iowa State Cyclone. It was not until I graduated (last August) that I actually saw the first Lady Cyclones game (vs. UConn). It was one of the best and most competitive games I have ever seen. Habits may not die, but will give way to some new ones for sure.
-- Raghu Havaldar
If you let a chick beat you for a layup, you are one pathetic male. I don't care how old you are, if a girl beats you in ball, time to get a new hobby.
-- Luigi
(Luigi, we don't usually give space to users without last names. But for a guy with such a bad inferiority complex, we'll make an exception -- JD)
I'm a Duke student, and your piece on the differences between the men's and women's game says something very well that needed to be said, especially on this campus. I could go to either San Jose or St. Pete. I'll be going to San Jose, because even this year's men's game against UNC at Cameron couldn't compete with the incredible feeling of [the women] beating UT. Especially this year, the women's FF will have so much more energy and excitement than the men's, and it would seem a shame to miss that. Anyway, instead of explaining my choice this evening, I'll pass people to your article and hope that they get the point.
-- Luis Villa, Duke Univ. Class of '00
I am a former women's college basketball player and tuned in for the Duke and Tenn. game. What a great game for those who follow the sport -- yet, as you pointed out, it was not a men's game with all the expectations that come the flashy dunks, etc. I, too, love the excitement of the men's games and tournament. But, isn't it nice to be able to appreciate the women's game and the beauty of it as well as the men's?
-- Suzanne L. Anderson
I enjoy almost every sport out there, but women's hoops is ridiculous. I constantly feel like I can get a group of guys from the schoolyard and beat them 79-52 There are maybe 4 girls in the country that shoot with the right form. The only part of the Tenn/Duke game I enjoyed is when Holdsclaw and the rest of the team started fouling out in the end. I think there was a competition going on over which player could shed the most tears.
-- Sal Leanti
Nothing is older or more tired than a politically correct apology for the women's game. You ought to go looking for your muse. Or a job with the WNBA. Hey, maybe they'll even put you in the "band" in one of those WNBA commercials.
-- David Brainard
(Hey David, you and Sal and Luigi lose a game of three-on-three to some girls, or what? -- JD)
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The truth is, that pool sheet was so much scratch paper early in March, when Delaware (c'mon -- the Fighting Blue Hens!) lost to Tennessee, when Weber State knocked off North Carolina. When six of my Elite Eight didn't make elite status at all.
(It says here that Arkansas will beat Connecticut in the third round. Good night, what was I thinking?)
In the cold, hard TV light of the morning after the NCAA championship game, there is, as there always seems to be, a lesson to be learned. It might be something thought provoking and somber, about winners and losers and underdogs and champions.
Or it just might be this: Don't do it again, dunderhead.
Don't put your money into a pool where smarts has nothing to do with how it turns out, where flat-out luck plays a major supporting role in who wins.
Don't think you can pick upsets. Don't think for a second you know anything about the favorite.
Just don't do it. It's that simple.
Now, putting a few bucks into the office pool isn't the stupidest thing pulled off in the name of the NCAA Tournament this year. There are a lot of dumber moves perpetrated during this copyrighted monstrosity we call "March Madness," things that just shouldn't be done.
Like ...
Don't pay a scalper to sit in an ugly dome 100 yards from the court. So you're paying to be a part of the gala, to watch history? Well, you're not a part. And you can't see. The closest seats in the Tropicana Dome in St. Petersburg were a good half-court away. And in most of the others, you certainly couldn't even hear the ball bouncing.
Don't watch the overdone pre-game shows on television, or that cheesy "shining moment" thing they show after the championship game. They take away from the game.
Don't yell "That's a charge" at the television.
Don't yell "Flop, ref! He's flopping!" at the TV, either.
Don't set the city on fire if your team loses a national semifinal game.
Don't offer instant analysis of every important turnover or critical shot made. (Especially don't do this when no one else is in the room.)
Don't call any team "we," as in "We kicked their butts! Woo hoo!"
Don't yell "Woo hoo!"
Don't pretend your alma mater is the best school in the world, or that you're some big-money alumnus, and don't start wearing the school colors just because State U. made the Big Dance.
Don't scream when someone calls the tournament the Big Dance.
Don't call for a three-second call on every play. The refs never call it.
Don't pull out your hair when anyone mouths the words "Cinderella" next March. That's what happened to Dick Vitale.
Don't watch first-round games in the NIT. Or second. Or anything before New York.
Don't be afraid to watch the women's tournament.
Don't underestimate short point guards, especially short, pudgy ones.
Don't ever think a team is too good to be beat.
Don't bet on Duke.
And don't, ever, ever bet against 'em.
John Donovan is senior writer for CNNSI.com.
Comments? To e-mail Donovan, click here.
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