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Caddie fights

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Posted: Tuesday April 27, 1999 02:00 PM

I have an idea for Jerry Springer for one of those always nifty theme shows he does. How about "Caddies and the Golfers Who No Longer Love Them?" Will this work or what?

You start out, say, with Tiger Woods talking about the demise of his relationship with Mike (Fluff) Cowan. You have the Tiger talking about Fluff's smoking all the time, about Fluff's Grateful Dead wardrobe, about Fluff's moustache and his general, lumpy demeanor. How much can one man take? Then, well, you bring out Fluff. You have Fluff talk about the Tiger's ingratitude, his prissy perfectionist ways, his machinations to find a replacement...

You know how it goes. Pretty soon everyone's slipping around in his Foot-Joys, swinging nine-irons and fairway woods, trying to take each other's head off and impart a little bit of backspin at the same time.

You can bring out Mark O'Meara and the caddy he fired. Two majors just a year ago! Gone! And then there's Jesper Parnevik. Two Sundays ago he fired caddy Lorne Duncan after an unfortunate incident where Duncan pointed out a rules violation that resulted in Parnevik being disqualified. Last Sunday Jesper, with a replacement, won the Greensboro Chrysler Classic. How about that?

Jerry can ask his usual caring, insightful questions. His crew can separate the combatants. It'll all be great.

Tomorrow: "The Relationship Between Horses and Short Men With Whips at the Kentucky Derby."

Sports Illustrated senior writer Leigh Montville appears regularly on CNN/Sports Illustrated.

 

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