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Latest: Wednesday September 06, 2000 12:21 PM

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SYDNEY -- Give us your tired and your huddled masses, and the Sydney Organizing Committee for the Olympic Games will sell them some tickets. Each morning at several centers around town, tickets that have been turned back by sponsors and national Olympic committees are being put up for sale along with those for low-demand events that haven't yet been spoken for. If you've ever lined up for tickets to a concert or a World Series game, you can imagine what it looked like outside SOCOG offices in central Sydney Wednesday morning at 8 a.m. Even a smattering of category A (most expensive) tickets to swimming went on sale to the couple with the rumpled sleeping bag, rumpled attire and rumpled eyelids at the front of the line. Other Olympic devotees have arrived from all corners just to catch a flavor.

Jeff Kolkmann has traveled from Tromso, Norway, just as he has for seven previous Olympics, hoping to find a job that will let him contract some Games fever. Kolkmann's obsession began at the Los Angeles Olympics in 1984 when he was hired as material logistics coordinator at the basketball venue. Sounds weighty. Among other things, Kolkmann was in charge of taking basketballs out of boxes and passing them on to officials who tested them for weight and bounce. Later, when Bobby Knight assaulted a blackboard because his team defeated Germany by a mere 17 points, it was left to Kolkmann to fetch a new one. He has since worked as a research runner in Calgary, TV logger in Barcelona and Lillehammer, information agent at a table of the International Broadcast Center in Albertville, and chauffeur in Nagano. He's still knocking on doors in Sydney, but for a day he is simply happy to be a ticket owner. "Each person who went in there could take as much time as they wanted. It's a little cattle feed," Kolkmann tells me, having started his quest as the 12th person in line the night before. "I did get tickets for two days of swimming and the gold medal day for men's volleyball. I'm just keeping the faith that I'll be official again before the Games begin." Ah, Olympic dreams.

Later that morning at a ticket office a mile down the road in Darling Harbour, more weary buyers are finally reaping the rewards of their patience. Steven Loudon of Manchester, England, was amazed at the good seats he scored for the track and field evening session on Sept. 27 at AUD$165 each. "Bloody good seats," he fancies. Nathalie Tjon Sieuw emerges from the window with arms aloft over the acquisition of field hockey, baseball, volleyball and shooting tickets. She and companion Walter Kocken are here from just outside Amsterdam, which is quite a hike for a few field hockey games. "We came by yesterday and what we wanted was sold out," she says. "Now, look at these." Michael Heldsdoerfer of Manheim, Germany, explains that he tried in vain to get even a single ticket through the allotment in Germany. "Here, it's no problem," he says. "Badminton, handball, gymnastics training session. No big tickets, but at least I'll be there."

Tickets aren't selling as briskly as one might imagine on eBay, the online auction site that is usually a good place to gauge scalper market value. Two prime tickets for the opening ceremony that the seller says have come from a sponsor's allotment went for $2,600, but a single seat for the women's soccer semifinal went for just $35, about 30 percent under face value, and a single $8 ticket to a Cuban baseball game went for a paltry $3.25. One enterprising offer -- accommodations during the Games plus two tickets to the opening ceremony -- had no takers at the opening price of $6,500.

Swim wars heat up

There is some bad blood boiling between the U.S. and Australian swim teams. For some time now, swimmers from the two squads have talked about the need for a rivalry to spice up life between the world's amphibian superpowers. Well, careful what you wish for. U.S. freestyler and freetalker Gary Hall Jr., a four-time medalist from the '96 Games, graced the back page of The Daily Telegraph on Wednesday with the headline: He's a Drug Cheat. Here's how that came about: When the U.S. team arrived here on Tuesday, Hall told the media that the Yanks would "smash the Aussies like guitars," which tells you that Hall's tune of preference doesn't involve Lawrence Welk. Remember, this is the same Hall who shadowboxed before diving in for his duels with Russia's Alexander Popov in Atlanta and then showed up on the pool deck in a boxing robe and boxing shorts at the U.S. trials last month in Indianapolis.

When asked about Hall's remarks, Australian distance veteran Kieren Perkins told reporters at a news conference in Melbourne: "I don't take a lot of notice of drug cheats." The indiscretion to which Perkins referred was Hall's 1998 suspension for marijuana, not, as one might imagine from the reference, a performance-enhancing steroid. Coaches from both teams have since publicly lamented their swimmers' choice of trash talk. The heated rivalry is still about three parts affectation to two parts vile dislike, but the proportions are getting muddled as the Games draw closer.

Here, for those who can't get enough of Top 10 lists, is the Telegraph's roster of the Australian swim team's top 10 guitar rifts to taunt the Americans:

Bored by the U.S.A. (Bruce Springsteen)
Smokin' on the Water (Deep Purple)
Smells Like Team Spirit (Nirvana)
Laneway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin)
Sultans of Swim (Dire Straits)
Star-Spangled Bungle (Jimi Hendrix)
Slay Ya (Eric Clapton)
Kick (Arse) (INXS)
Crush the Losers (Regurgitator)
Homebush Will Be Hell (AC/DC)

Time to load the starter's pistol.

SI writer-reporter Brian Cazeneuve, the magazine's Olympics expert, is already in Australia gearing up for the Games. Check back daily to follow his behind-the-scenes reports.

 
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